Sunday, June 20, 2004
i hope you'll acknowledge even to the end
i determined this with myself
but i have no rest in my spirit
and my mind was blinded
i'm perplexed but not in despair
wherefore i've labour..i try to be sober
old things are passed away
afflictions, necessities, distresses, dishonour by evil report
all people look at me as a deceiver
as unknown..as dying..as sorrowful
and now just receive me
coz great is my boldness of speech toward you
i was troubleed on everyside
i have confidence in you in all things
coz i providing fr honest things
would to God you could bear with me a little in my folly
and you surely indeed bear with me
in otherwise yet as a fool receive me
coz i always speak foolishly
i cannot tell you but i cannot lie too




an unpleasant feeling emerged
did you leave that place ?
everybody is here except you
one problem was left out
do it by yourself
don't try to get some help from me

how can i continue this trip?
if you wouldn't give me the key
so just bring it just for me
i must take them out
go away from this place
and you'll know if ...
this means i'll leave you forever
if you still pick to stay here not follow me




aku ada disini...
lahir ke dunia ini...
karena takdirku sendiri...
jadi aku harus mengikutinya...
kemanapun takdir itu menuntun aku...
aku harus menerimanya...
...
kemalanganku...
kesialanku...
keterpurukanku...
semua rintangan yang ada didepanku...
semua hal yang buat aku jatuh...
semua yang buatku merasa begitu kesakitan...
air mata yang bercampur dengan darah...
selalu tertawa dalam kepedihan hati...
aku yang selalu terpojok...
ditekan...
tak pernah dianggap...
aku merasa begitu bodoh berada disini...
terus menjadi bagian yang terlupakan...
tersisih...
aku memang tak diinginkan...
aku adalah sebuah kesalah...

-scream of my brain faced death at 5:20 PM

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